I am weird...

I have two different thumbs! Okay "freak" I know you might be thinking it!! haha!!

I actually never noticed until I was in middle school and someone said "haha look at your squished thumb!!" I laughed and said something like "shutup, whatever," and changed the subject!


I went home and like any insecure preteen would do, I held both thumbs side by side and just like that, I became aware that one thumb was indeed not only a different shape from the other, but one thumb was actually longer then the other!! WTF??!! I just knew this was a sign that I had some rare desease and was going to DIE!!


I told mom and we of course went to the doctor, who thought that maybe I had broken it as a child or something. There was also a possibility of some other rare condition ( I KNEW IT) but it ended up not being neither!


The doctor said "thats just the way you are" Okay...


Soooooo here we are over 10 years later and I am sharing "officially." Im not even drunk! I tend to share this thumb phenomenom when Ive had a "few" and my friends and I start our competing most outrageous stories ever! You know, when the "one time in band camp," "your never going to believe what happened to me," and "I can take a shot of tequila from my own cleavage" convos! You know the ones!

I was not able to take a pic of both hands side by side...since I did not want my hubby to think I was a nut case for taking pics of my hands...




Anyway- Im out...so now you know.

Free2bMommy

Up up update on Monkey

The appointment went fabulous, even though trust me, there were many times when I thought "what a bunch of wackos we are!"

Having constant anxiety can make you feel like a prisoner in your own body, you are often frozen by fear and unable to think rationally. You want to scream and run away. With me, it is large crowds and too many different sounds at once. Sometimes I find myself wanting to shout "shuuuuut the f_ck up!" It is complete "fight or flight." I hate to think that Monkey is going through this experience, but I am glad that I know enough about it to get her the help she needs to calm her nerves.

What a pain to be hindered by irrational fears. Monkey must have peaked in the door 5 times to make sure I was still there during a time when the doctor wanted to speak to only me. She is afraid that I will leave her a often times runs in the room strickened with fear of the thought that I might have left her without telling her.

The doctor mentioned that we would be learning to manage her anxiety and panic. She plans on teaching us ways to keep anxiety and panic attacks from taking over. Right away, I was thinking "great, here we go...123....321...what the heck is bothering me?" I was pleasantly surprised when she was able to share an exercise with Monkey that I could actually see has the potential to work!

Monkey and her first trip to the anxiety lady

Monkey is going to see a specialist today for her anxiety and extreme panic attacks. I really hope that we make some progress even if its just a tiny bit. Monkey needs someone who is willing to listen to her that she maybe feels comfortable with not judging her. I am actually hopeful and look forward to meeting her.

I was forwarded to all sorts of people for the entire day last Tues.! I was sooooo frustrated and wanted to crawl in the corner and cry. I was trying to get her in to see the Texas Children's Hospital Psychiatric and Psychology department, but that list is full until July! I called a couple of other known children services but was very intimidated and discouraged by the interactions I had with the people who answered the phones at these places.

When I called the Dr. she will be seeing today, the lady over the phone actually listened and sounded concerned. She seemed to actually give a crap about what I was calling about. This Dr. seems amazing from what I have researched on her, and Monkey is super excited to meet her.

Strange for a child to be so desperate for help that they are actually excited to be going to the doctor. This does not sound like a child who is pretending to me...

tired with loooong blinks...

I am sooooo tired this morning!! I usually drop off Monkey and head back home to feed Bean his breakfast and get some cleaning done while he eats and takes in Sid the Science Kid. Today I am dragging!! I was in Glen Rose Texas this weekend for a beautiful wedding, and I still feel incredibly tired!!

I am about to retreat to a nap with my son...hopefully I will be inspired to write something of meaning when I wake up.

Free2bMommy

Why do they have to grow up??

Okay so, I love Darius Rucker and have always equated his music with my life...it just has that type of effect on me. I am sure you most likely have heard this song...but I swear it was written for my little girl. Every bit of it makes me and my hubby teary eyed. With everything that she has been going through lately, she has been on my mind more then usual. I decided to write a short letter to her to document how this song makes me feel about her, and share with you some of my favorite pics of her as a smaller Monkey then she is now.

Please do not use my pictures of my family for anything other then viewing on this blog.

To My Monkey,

When I first saw you, you were the most beautiful thing God had ever graced another person with. You represented everything that was good in the world, with one tiny squint of your eyes. You have continued to make my life so much more then it would have been without you. You are a special and extraordinary girl, and I hope one day, the rest of the world will get to see, what your daddy and me have seen all along. The fact that you dance to the beat of your own drum is something to be admired. One day, someone is going to make you feel heartache and pain. When that day comes, I will be there for you. One day, you will experience betrayal. When that day comes, I will be there for you. One day, you will feel the love of another who sees you for who you are. When that day comes, I will be there for you. One day you will feel the immense love that I feel for you, for your own children, and when that day comes, I will be there for you. You are such a loving girl that is often really misunderstood. Some kids often times do not recognize originality for what it is, and unfortunately they will only grown up to be larger versions of themselves with the same mindset. It is when you come across these people that you remember to stay true to yourself, and the rest really does not matter. I believe that you will get through this, and I know that when you learn to control what it is that troubles you, you will shine even brighter then you already do. I love you and will always be here for you. My love for you will never fade, you never need to worry about who is in your corner, because even when the day comes that you think you don't need me there...I will be there, and when you come to realize how much you appreciate and want me in your corner...I will still be there.

Love Mommy

My "typical mommy" moment...

Okay this does not happen that often but I am going to share a baking moment...



If you like making cookies and you prefer your cookie soft and chewy, then I suggest the Betty Crocker Cookie Mixes! They only require you to add 1 egg and 1 stick of butter! You mix it then make small mounds on the ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for about 10 minutes! They come out chewy and yummy and will stay that way for up to a week! This Sat. will be one weeks since I made the choco chip and sugar cookies and they are still soft!!



Just thought I would share with ya!

Free2bMommy

I have twiitter issues!!!

So it was brought to my attention that my Twitter "follow me!" icon on my page was not linking to my Twitter page. I fixed it, in case you were up all night wondering about it. haha!

Thanks spoiled...but not rotten!

Free2bMommy

Dont be a blog snob...

Do something nice today and follow another blog that has less then 25 followers! Maybe even follow one that offers more then just giveaways. Remember the reason blogging originally came to be? Enlighten yourself and become familiar with others that maybe are completely different from you. These are my absolute favs to follow. There is only so much you can get from bloggers that blog the same things as each other. I am a true fan of staying TRUE TO CONTENT, so think of a subject that is different from what you normally post and see where it takes you.

Just my friendly Friday share!

Have an amazing weekend!!

Free2bMommy

Want a chance to win a Apple ipod Touch 8GB??!!!

Check out the "Savvy Coupon Mommy" for a chance to win a Apple ipod Touch 8GB 4th generation! Check her out for all the details about the ipod and the specs on what all it does!!

I love my nano but could really enjoy this giveaway!!

Check her blog out for more info on this giveaway and so many others!!!

Its Thurs. morning and I have zero tolerance

We moved into our home a few years back for many reasons. The main reason is because we loved the idea of my child attending T. Elementary, an acclaimed and well known school here in the Houston Heights. I was ecstatic when she started attending and I was positive that we had made the right choice in our home regardless of the lack of much needed space and high property taxes.

Boy do I regret that decision now...

I mentioned in a previous post about my 8 year old daughter has been having problems with extreme anxiety and panic attacks. I have made several attempts to communicate with the school and their response has frankly been insulting.

They cater to certain families, and if you do not fit that "mold," you come in second if not last. They have even gone so far as to imply that Monkey is manipulative and making the episodes up. AN 8 YEAR OLD CHILD!! I am so incredibly disappointed in the response and behavior of the "lead" staff at this school. They claim to be a highly accredited school, and they may be, but that is only because they chase away any "problem" children, so that they are only left with a certain type of child. They are not helping kids, they are only taking credit for children that are already stable kids and doing well on their own, with no thanks to the school.

Of course they would not be viewed as a school that has low testing scores or "problem children" when they discriminate and/or alienate those families until they move elsewhere. Who are you fooling? This school caters to the vanguard and magnet students, which is great, only not all of the kids are in these programs. Those that are not in these programs are regarded as not quite as important and as a result their issues and problems receive no validation or appropriate response.

The principal and her sidekick will blatantly ignore certain parents while overextending themselves to others. Its complete crap. They really do make you want to scream "who do you think you are??!!" More importantly, "who do you think I am?" Please do not let my exterior fool you.

Do you think that my child is less important because you assume that my family is not at your standard? Do you assume that we don't have any money or education based on my husband and my age or the way we look? What gives you the right and how dare you make such ASSumptions if this is indeed the case?

I pity you. I pity the fact that you are not even smart enough to realize how stupid you are making yourself look when you attempt to pretend you know what the worth of people is based on only what you see. Well guess what? I just so happen to be working on my letter of complaint for the HISD Superintendent and the HISD department of Social Services in regard to this matter. You cannot continue to treat children this way, or ignore their needs or situations in order to maintain your "perfect record." It should not be tolerated that you have a blatant preference for certain children and families over others, and it should be known by those that actually matter within the district. As a tax paying resident of the neighborhood that is zoned to T. Elementary, I demand to be treated with the same respect and dignity you give the "chosen few".

I want to share something during the closing of this unwell written post written in a fit of frustration. "Go ahead and have your prom queen moment. If this is as good as it gets for you, I feel so incredibly horrible for you, but I'm going to let you have your moment...for now"

Frustrated Free2bMommy

Work at Home Now - book review

I really stink at reviews! The book that I read a few months ago is Work at Home Now-The No-Nonsense Guide to Finding Your Perfect Home-Based Job, Avoiding Scams, and Making a Great Living. by Christin Durst and Michael Haaren also authors of The 2 Second Commute.

What do I think about this book?
It is a great guide and does exactly what it says it does. It is a serious resource book that concentrates more on giving you detailed sites and info regarding work at home job listings, and less boring story telling.

Great book, but I must warn you...you will spend an incredible amount of time checking out the websites provided for the different jobs while still reading!!

Just check it out!!

Free2bMommy

Worried about losing top 50 status :(

I wish I knew the secret to staying in the top 50 on top mommy blogs list. I am now number 50 :(

I know that there have been moments for all newer bloggers and maybe some old as to how exactly the Mega blogs are able to generate so much traffic? This still remains a mystery to me. Although I applaud these amazingly successful blogs, I just wish I knew what I need to be doing to get more followers and stay in the top 50.

Its not about having tons of numbers, but it is nice to see a more diverse representation on lists such as topmommyblogs.com. This obviously is not the sites fault, but it is really nice to see top blogs that appeal to all types of moms and women.

What do you think??

Starting a home business in a sluggish economy

I know that many people are nervous about starting a business in a slow economy. It seems like it would not make sense financially. Well in many ways that is true, but in more ways that may not be so true.

You see, the trick is to find something that you enjoy doing, but also something people need right now. We are never without "needs". Those "needs" shift depending on the situation, but think about how many successful businesses became successful based on serving a "need".

I love the WAHM.com website, and it is one of my favorite resources. I found a great article that you might want to check out to help give you ideas of some of these "needed" services you may be able to fill.

http://www.wahm.com/articles/the-best-home-business-ideas-for-a-slow-economy.html

Free2bMommy

Post Wh_re- part 2!

I am just so proud! I am going to be the death of Resin Chica, I swear!!! I just have so many more followers on Free2bMommy to share these pics with.

Thats a real green peppermint!!

I promise to return to WAHM drama from here on...for a little while anyway!

Free2bMommy

Because im a post wh_re!

Check out the latest creation from my alter ego Resin Chica.

You can see more of my...ahem...her stuff at Resin Chica blog!

Vote for me please!!

Hey yall!

It looks like little ol Free2bMommy was nominated for a few categories on "Blogs by Latinas"

Can you do a fellow blogger a fav a vote below?

Thanks ya!!

Monkey has extreme panic attacks and I do not know what to do...

Monkey is experiencing extreme full on panic attacks, and I am at the end of my rope. I think that the most frustrating thing is that I do not know how to help her. I was always a very anxious child, and have generalized anxiety as an adult, but I never had panic attacks. She actually "freaks out" to certain "triggers". She hates the smell of the cafeteria at school and it gives her attacks just to think about going to the cafeteria and having a panic attack about the smell. She screams, cries, throws up many times. She gets chest pains, upset stomach, and dizzy! She is only 8! I tried to contact her pediatrician but I do not think they get the magnitude of the situation. I do not need Play Therapy for my child! She needs something more serious then that. She has been struggling with this for a couple of years now off and on, and the school is even worse at dealing with it. She even comes home and says that when she asks to be excused to see the school nurse, they act like she is not telling the truth. I know my child and am generally a "no tolerance" person when it comes to this type of thing, but I can not longer deny that it is out of my control.

Hubby has zero tolerance which makes me feel even more alone at dealing with this!

She is home today and I have been trying to get in touch with the Texas Children's Hospital for the entire morning. No success yet, unless you call talking to a automated system a success. I am sure her daddy will be "thrilled" when he finds out she is home.

I just needed to rant...I think I might be done...who am I kidding?

Free2bMommy

What DOES it mean to be Latina? For the beautiful gringas too!

Note: Before reading you should know that this is my first post dealing with being Latina. I generally post about all sorts of things...but I was inspired as you will see below...read on...even if you are a beautiful gringa. Lub ya!

I was inspired by a post by Unknown Mami in regard to a comment she made on another blog about being Latina. I know I will get on "some" peoples nerves with a post like this, but its my blog, and you know where you can go hunny. So what does it mean to be Latina? Well I can only give you my perspective in hopes that it educates and inspires you to form your own definition.

Being Latina to me is having roots in your family tree that you know originate from a Latin country. Now, does that mean that there is a percentage given for the "amount" of Latin roots your family holds? No, of course not. I believe that Latinas are woman that can offer diverse cultural perceptions and apply these things to the very core of what makes them Latina. Latinas hold on tight to that connection with culture, and are not easily swayed from it.


It to me is that simple. If you embrace your Latin roots, you are a Latina. So what does a Latina look like? Easy right? Brown/black hair, brown eyes, and olive to dark skin. Easy enough. No really its not that easy. Latinas to me are the biggest chameleons. We can be pale skinned with green eyes and dirty blond hair. We can be shades of creamy ebony with unruly hair and eccentric features. We can be short, brown eyed beauties with large breasts and bootylicious bottoms. We come in all shapes, sizes, and shades. Does that sound like something you can categorize?

If you are culturally connected to your Latin roots and how they contributed to the woman you are today, you are Latina. More then anything, Latina is a state of mind. It is being able to hold on to deeply rooted traditions of family, loyalty, integrity, and love. More importantly it is about embracing the very thread that makes you unique as a decedent of Latin origins, while working to fight against perpetuating stereotypes and prejudices.

Personally it has always been a personal mission, to keep Mexican cultural influences strong in my family and in my children. Once upon a time, someone crossed that border to form what would later become the creation of me. How can I not admire that? The want for something better for your family, so much so that you would be willing to risk you life to get it. Now for me personally, this happened many generations ago, for others like my husband, this transition can be heard first hand from his Mexican born parents who now legally reside in the U.S.


Wherever your Latina roots stem from, I hope that you too have a little something you can stay connected to. Something that will have a life of its own and provide a blueprint for many Latin American generations to come. It is essentially about progress and the grain that makes us proud Americans intertwined with a background and history unmatched by any other. Why? Because it is yours and yours alone.


Here are some of my favorite cover girls to have graced the front pages of Latina Magazine and have continued to inspire many of us. If you do not have a subscription, you should seriously consider it. JMO

Free2bMommy

I know you may have already seen this but...

I have been meaning to go and get the code to embed this video on Free2bMommy forever, and I was visiting another blog and saw the video posted and it dawned on me...I still had not posted it.

I can not tell you how this song makes me feel. I loved the original, but this remake is amazing. Yes, I get choked up and get goosebumps while watching...there I said it!

Dont hold it against me tomorrow.

I will follow you....

Hey all!

I am thrilled and appreciate all the new followers. I am having trouble keeping up with which followers I follow. I think that its important to follow my followers and see what their blogs are all about...I mean they took the time to check Free2bMommy out and that's awesome to me. I love following new bloggers, I luv the "oldies" too, but I think that there is a certain enthusiasm that shows in the writing of a new blogger not yet writing for the masses. I hope to consider myself still in that category too.

I use to follow many "mass followed" blogs, but I noticed that they usually did not even know I existed, and I was almost positive they never had a chance to check Free2bMommy out. I totally understand however, because I know that its difficult to keep up with less then fifty followers much less thousands. There are a few that I love for taking the time to check out my blog even though they have hundreds or thousands of followers, but unfortunately those are fewer and farther in between.

To make a long story short, if you take the time to check out Free2bMommy and you decide to follow, I will do the same. If you have become a follower and have seen me not return the follow, just leave me a comment to check out your blog.

Peace and Lub!

Free2bMommy

Oh and I just wanted to share the pic!

I'm gonna have giveaways soon....

Guess what people??!! I'm movin' on up!! haha! I will have some awesome giveaways very soon!! You have to be a follower of Free2bMommy to qualify though.

I am generally not a "Follow me! Follow me! I give stuff away" blogger, and I am constantly reminding readers, that I stay true to content. With that said, I also think it is important to give back to your readers with a cool giveaway once in a while!

I hope you all agree!

More to come soon!

Free2bMommy

The most lovable sharks!

Love these shoes! My mom brought them home with her a couple of weeks ago and I love them! What a great way for Converse to appeal to their smaller customers outside of just the originals. Not that I have any problems with the original converse...I don't own a pair of heavily worn black high tops with bright pink laces. wink wink...

Check out the little fins on the sides!

They didn't leave the girls out, I'm told they have really cute lady bug style converse too! I believe my mom got them at Baby Gap or Gap kids.

I love these baby sharks...and wanted to share!

Free2Mommy

because i dont always follow through...

I had originally planned to post every day in regard to my first 30 days as an official WAHM, after post #1 that got super boring. Being the ADHD case that I am, I write very much like I think...all over the place! That is how my posts work and thats how they will stay. Thought I would say it out loud to make it official.

Free2bMommy

The spot...

One more pic for your viewing pleasure...in case you were one of the few people that was not shoulder to shoulder with everyone else in Houston. This is outside of Lucky's...you should have seen the inside...

Check out the guy in the hat...

The things we do when we are drunk...

This is what happens when you get a bunch of people crammed into a cage called "luckys" for St. Pattys Day. They get bored...obviously. For the record...I was strictly a spectator.

Kicked lasagnas a$$!

I fought lasagna and I won. This is sort of how it went...



What's that smell?



Let me check the lasagna...



Smoke coming from oven!!!!



Open oven to reveal the lasagnas real furry!

Not sure what was going on in the oven or why it was smoking, but the lasagna kicked a$$!!!

In honor of St. Patty's Day! Check them out!

Some resin rings I worked on for my cousin and her friends!

Yes I am quite the crafter...hehe!

Free2bMommy

Because we can all use some inpiration

I just like mine to include some of the following elements. P-R-E-T-T-Y!!

Soft spring flowers by ♥ ʝuɭɪą ♥ featuring Bottega Veneta cardigans

Items in this set:
Premium Zip Front Slip, $70
Blue Flower Girl Dresses SK3028 - Sage Tea Length Ribbon Dress, $49
Fine-knit cotton cardigan, $1,100
T-shirt med motiv, 350 SEK
Apuweiser-riche Rose Sequined Mini Skirt, $150

Dumb and dumbassness...

I forget freakin everything! No really, I know your thinking "I do too!", but my case is rediculous! Yeah yeah I know, write yourself a "to do list" and send your self messages, blah...blah...blah...Tried all of this! I sometimes feel lost in the land of dumbassness. I think thats a word.

Here is what a day in my life might look like (pre quitting work on fri)

I wake up at about 7am. Get Monkey up and tell her to get up use the restroom while I get her stuff...

Can't find my keys...can't find my keys...can't find my keys...found um!

Much later we are walking out the door and she says "mom, I told you I wanted to wear the other tennis shoes today." "ummmm you did?" Sh_t! I run to go find this pair of shoes get them back to Monkey and we head to the car. On to school. She gets ready to get out and asks for money for lunch...CRAAAAAP!!! I have no money with me!!! I tell her that I will go home and bring it back before I drop off Bean and head to work.

Bye bye!! I love you!!!

Vroooom to the house!!! I grab Bean and run inside place him in his high chair and give him a cut bananna and some Cheerios and tune into Sid The Science Kid!! I race back to the room looking for something to wear to work that will not cut off my circulation or be too hot and stuffy. I cannot find any of my slacks...because I dont remember where I left them. Okay plan B is to wear a dress, but its cold so I will need tights! I have like 10 pairs of tights so that should not be a problem right???! Craaaaaaaaap!!!!

Running late....

I try to find some money around the house to stuff in an envelope and drop off to Monkey, only to get the third degree from some front desk lady on a power trip. Whatever! Just take the damn money!!

Drop Bean off at moms, she says "I told you to bring him something to wear and some shoes!!" How can you expect me to .....blah....blah....blah" Sorry mom. I promise I will remember for tomorrow. Story of my vida.

Get to work...decide to work on a "todo" list only to proceed to misplace that list and create another one that I will envitably lose too. Check emails with people asking for things that I most likely forgot and realize I forgot to tell my father in law to pick up Monkey! Sh_t!!! I call the Pbear he calls the FIL and we are okay...this does not come without grief and a few "you really need to get your sh_t together"

Do I really need to go on....this is torture for me as I am sure it is for you...thats if you are even still reading! By the end of a day like this, I feel defeated and like a complete failure and beat myself up for all the things I forget. "why cant I be an organized mom?" I ask Pbear, and he just shrugs. Thanks for the moral support Punk!!

Trust me there are many days like this. I am hoping this will change now that I have more time to get things in order...but who knows. I of course have many great days too...but who wants to hear about those?? har har har!!!

Free2bMommy

WAHM day #2

Well yesterday was a bit of an adventure for me, but I'm really not comfortable enough sharing thaaaaat much as of yet. Let's just say I made a big mistake and ended up getting in a potentially life threatening situation. Sometimes I make the biggest fuc_ups.

I am so lucky that my hubby (I like to refer to him as PBear) has become increasingly more and more understanding of my constant forgetfulness or just down right dum_assness! If that's a word. I am a college graduate for God sake, isn't that the free card to be considered "smart"? Yeah freakin right it is! I could do an entire post just about that, but that will have to wait until the post following this.

Of course I had the phone drama! Urgh WTF was that all about right?

Well today is one of those days that you get all gushed about what you might want to do with the rest of your life? Oh its not?? Well maybe I just have issues!

I promise to get some work done tomorrow...
Free2bMommy

Why can't I sound more like a grownup??!!

So you want to know how I got my iphone back? Well I will start with the fact that I was almost 100% sure that I left it at the BW. If you were with me on Friday, you know where we were. We were celebrating my final day at my “real job”.

So I always lose my phone…I really think that the phone hates me, but it always finds its way to lovingly get back to me.

I call this place on Sat. early and I tell the girl “I was there yesterday and I think I left my black iphone there.” The girl told me to hold and supposedly went to check. She returned to the phone and to my disappointment said that there was “no iphone”. I hung up and figured it must be at home. I check couch cushions, under the bed, kid’s toy box, just about everywhere! I had already checked the car and still no phone.

Today I checked the car again and defeatedly told my mom, “mom, can you please call BW and ask them yourself about my phone, like pretend to be me. Maybe by the grace of God you will get a different answer.” She agreed.

Mom gave them a call and asked to speak with the manager, when she was told the manager was not in she told the girl who answered that she knew that she left the phone on the table on Friday March 12 between the hours of 5 and 7pm, and she needed to know when she might be able to pick it up. The girl "checked," came back and said “no phone.” Mom asked for the manager to call her back when she was in…

The phone rings 3 minutes later and the manager told my mom that she did indeed have the phone and that she could pick it up at any time today.

WTF???

Well I know what you are going to say “you should have asked for the manager from the beginning) Yes I know, but one thing that is worth saying is that my mom gets things done. Somehow when she calls or talks to people after I do, she gets a better answer. I can not tell you how many times I have asked her to call and pretend to be me and she was successful at whatever it was I was pleading for in the first place. The hubby is the same way,

I need to work on my talking skills…or maybe sound more assertive, demanding, and more grownup.

Most likely all of the above. Geeze!

Thanks for reading,

Free2bMommy

WAHM day #1

So, I was thinking about what I was going to write about and thought that it would be neat to chronicle the next 30 days and see how I feel at day 15, 28, and especially day 30.

Of course this will not be the only posts. Some days I am sure will be ridiculously boring, sending you a "sorry about that" way ahead of time.

Day #1

So far so good. Woke up at 9:00 and cut Bean a green apple. I tried to give him cheerios and a sippy with milk, but he soon rejected that attempt by throwing every last one of the cheerios onto the floor.

I don't think that you ever stop questioning your decisions until you see the results of them. So even though I am a little apprehensive about not having my "official job", and I cannot say that my heart does not start to pump like its going to pump itself right on out when I think about this. I cant deny that I have thought about the fact that almost everyone I know is at work and I gave it all up to stay at home with Bean! It literally started to race just talking about it racing! Anxiety table for 1 please! Please bring extra bread!

I think its important that no matter what type of decision you make, when you begin to ask yourself if you "made the right choice", you really need to think about all the reasons for that choice. I personally just have to think about a couple of reasons and the ticker goes back to its normal working mode. I can even smile when I think about those reasons. I become enthusiastic once again about all of the great things I will be able to do because of that decision and I am again in home mommy bliss.

Thanks for the therapy session!

Free2bMommy

Why dont girls just want to have fun anymore?

My son Bean went to bed super early and my daughter Monkey spent the night at her grandmas house leaving me the opportunity to be a posting freak.

Anyway, on to the topic...

I do not pretend to be perfect. I do not pretend to like you if I don't. I do not pretend that you are funny if you are not. I do not pretend to be anything other then me.

What is so wrong with expecting that of others?
This is what has gotten me in to a bit of trouble my entire life.

I was reminded recently just how jealous and mean woman can be to each other. I personally do not put myself in the category with these types of woman. Why? Of course I experience jealousy once in a while or a feeling of short lived envy by the success of some woman. Many of these things are healthy normal human reactions. What makes me different and others like me is that I never wish bad things for these people or create situation where I set them up for failures just to ease my insecurities.

Of course now I am no longer really puzzled by this behaviour but rather nonchalant about it. When I decided to do this particular post, I wanted to describe how it makes me feel when I am mistreated, unfairly targeted, or gossiped about for no apparent reason. It really takes a bit of stomach curling courage to even finish this, but not finishing this would go against what I believe. I believe I have the right to express frustrations, and to let go of the anxiety of "what if Soinso reads this". The truth is "who gives a sh_t?" They do.

Who are "they". "They" are the people who do not want to see others do well. "They" are the people who pretend to like you and then talk about you behind your back. "They" are the people who make you feel as though you cannot trust anyone. "They" are the people who would rather see you fail then ever succeed. "They" are the ones who will take this post the wrong way. I think the kids call "Them" "Haters"....but I hate that word...I guess making me a "Hater" of the word "Hater".

Do these people not understand that the people they hurt or step on are people too? I know that sounds corny and simple, but have we really forgotten that everyone deserves their own happiness? I have been wreaking my brain trying to understand the actions of these types of people. I try to rationalize their hatefulness with thinking that maybe they did not mean to do what they did or said. I am not sure if it is the same in men and women because my experience is limited to only the way certain women treat others.

We that are tormented by this issue would like to believe that this "girl on girl" hate is just a juvenile high school thing, but when you think about it, that is so not the case. My 8 year old daughter Monkey has beautiful curly unruly hair and wears cute modern style glasses while grooving to the beat of her own ipod. I think back to her in the 1st grade and remember her coming home and saying that "Jenny" would not let her be in the cheer leading club. When I pushed for more, she told me that the other girls said "Jenny" ordered them to tell my daughter that she could not be a part of this special cheer leading group. Now this group was nothing more then a recess game, but even at 7 and 8 years old some are already starting to create semi hostile environments where "someone" has to be hurt or left out in order to validate the group.

How can I really expect grown women to behave in a decent humanitarian manner when there are kids they most likely have been that way their entire life. It is these same women who were most likely the "Jenny's" of their schools. Just my humble opinion.

So in closing, im not sure what my real reason or point is for this post, but I do know that I needed the release writing gives me considering the tough week I had. I could not go into detail without implicated others, so I will leave it at that. I really needed to blogvent.

Lets just say some "girls" will never change, and you have to sort of ask yourself "how pathetic and lonesome are they?" Think about how crappy someone must feel in order to create problems for others and make others feel like crap in order to help them validate their own importance and existence. Something is missing in these women, and I pity them. The only thing that "they" do teach me, is an awareness that makes me sure I do all I can to teach my children that hating others and being the "mean girl" is not an option. I personally at one point or another maybe was a little mean to others...when I was in High School...but I quickly realized what that does to others, and it did not make me feel good to hurt others.

Hopefully you work in a healthy environment where as a woman you are given the opportunity to grow not based on the way you look, your personality, who your friends are, or the fact that you will never kiss ass to woman who do not deserve any respect for how they treat people, but rather by your hard work, dedication, integrity, and effort.

I know I feel better dumping this all on you, sorry about that. I apologize for the super long post...but it had to be said. Thanks for reading.

Free2bMommy

The comfort of the Mexican candle

As a kid I have to admit that my mom rarely if ever used candles, and I think she was afraid my sister and I might burn the house down. Oh yeah forgot to mention that I have a younger sister, by 3 years to be exact. Anyway, I really did not have to go too far to see what is in my opinion a Mexican undeniable household icon. I know you have seen them, even if your not Mexican. In Texas you can find them at many groceries store...maybe in the "Mexican isle" but they are there none the less.

My sister and I would often stay over at my grandma's house. She was not always the nicest, but I remember going to sleep at night and her lighting a candle in the room on the shelf. If you have ever seen these things they are super tall and can burn for what seems like an eternity. There is something comforting to me about a lit Mexican religious candle that has something to do with the flicker in the dark and the illumination of images depicting all sorts images and people.

I now light my own candles and it helps me get ready for bed. Of course I do not leave it burning, but I still think its nice to have around. Maybe the candle will do the same thing for my children as it did for me. I knew that as long as that candle was lit nothing could get me. Not even the infamous Cucuy or the weeping La Llorona.

Final celebration complete with booze and a racist waitress...well sort of.

Yesterday was one of the most difficult days I have had to endure in a long time. After lunch with my two closest co-workers/friends, the last thing anyone wanted to do was work. It's weird how our level of appreciation changes when you know that things will not be the same tomorrow. You gush about everything! Why am I the only one with sentimental reminiscing syndrome? I am the dork that thinks about the "way things were", in full blur vision, slow motion, with music from artists such as Sarah McLaughlin and Josh Groban playing in the distance. I know you want to laugh but don't! Why do I torture myself?!!

Anyway, after work my co-workers arrange a happy hour farewell get together at Big Woodrows. I was really thrilled by the people who showed up. My boss joined us too! It is sooooo nice to get to drink and not worry about what you might let slip out! Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and I thank God for blessing me with these amazing people.

I know you are wondering where the "racist waitress" part comes in. Well I called the waitress over to order a friend at the other side of the table a strawberry daiquiri. Here is how the converstion went down...

Free2bMommy: "Can I order her (pointing) a strawberry daiquiri?"

waitress: "who?"

Free2bMommy: "Not her (pointing) but the girl behind her.
(there were 3 of my African American friends sitting side by side)

Waitress: "Oh okay that one. You know they all look alike"

Free2bMommy: "ummmmm okay?"

Me being the drama starter that I am did what any good friend would do...I told them all.

When the waitress returned, one of my friends placed another drink order and said "are you sure you are going to remember which one I am? Since you think we all look alike? The waitress started crying and apologizing profusely, saying she heard us saying something like that earlier and was just playing.

Okay so "racist waitress" is a bit extreme, but the poor girl made a poor judgement.

Fast forward to this morning...

I woke up feeling ridiculously thirsty, and slightly sore...I some how skinned my elbow. Once I drank an outrageous amount of orange juice straight from the carton, it all started to float back to me. I am now unemployed. No one provides me with the work necessary to result in a paycheck anymore. Awesome. As you already know, I will not actually be "not working" anymore, but rather redirecting my talents and energy toward my own business venture and being a mommy, where I get to be the boss, the mail guy, the director, the administrative assistant, and the motha fuc....ing CEO!

I did it...and now its on to phase numero dos....now if I could just decide where to start.

The stuff I wish I could have for my home office

I felt like compiling a list of the things that I would get for my home office if I was rich...okay maybe not rich, but you know what I mean...

I am totally piggy backing the "splurge vs. steal", but I dont care!

Okay we will start with the desk...

Splurge
Desk- Pottery Barn Bedford Small Desk Pricetag- $449.00



Steal Target Braxton Trestle Desk Pricetag- $127.49

Target-Seville Classic 2 pc baskets Pricetag- $14.99


Next up the chair...
Splurge
Pottery Barn Swivel Chair Pricetag- $399.00


Steal Target Armless Bankers Chair Pricetag- $119.00


Other things I luv!!

Pier one Logan 4 Tier book Shelf $169.95



Anything from "Made By Girl"! Love her and her work!! Please check her out, and you will love her too!!


Awesome lightage by Chandeliersandmirrors.com


More fab home office stuff to come...

Today is the day...

Today is "the day". My last day as a "working outside of the home" mommy. How do I feel? Amazingly content. I promised that I would not cry while at work today, and I already failed myself greatly after seeing a beautiful bouquet of pink tulips on me desk from one of my favorite co-workers...don't get jealous Juan...Ela gave them to me. I know I seem to often times be cynical about working in an office, but when it comes down to it, I did really enjoy meeting so many amazingly wonderful and talented individuals. I posted a while back something on face book that I made up all by my little self, and I wanted to end this post with it.

Sometimes we have to do things that scare us, in order to make room for the new and amazing opportunities that await us.

Free2bMommy

Urgh! Whatever!

It is the night before the big day and to tell you to truth...I wish it had been today! I have a "to do" list for JBF that is a mile long! I even managed to do some light shopping at lunch! Hey, can you blame me? We are about to be down to one steady paycheck for a couple of months! I found these really nice white shadow box frames for 3.99 at Michaels! Ask me what I am going to put in them. I may not have crap to put in them as of yet, but damnit, they were cheap! Back to the topic at hand...Im sooooo A.D.D. its not even cute....ohhhh look it's shiney!

Quitting your job is a liberating feeling, so much so that I wish we were able to shrink it down to pill size and slang it on the street! I would be a junkie. How often do we really do anything truly for ourselves anymore? Things that just make you feel good about yourself...not for anyone elses appreciation but your own? Not often I am guessing....especially if you are a mommy.

I wanted to buy a really good friend of mine something for her to put up in her office once I was gone. I found her a truly simple hanging ceramic thingy that says "Do one thing every day, that makes you happy." Sometimes we forget that being selfish is not always such a bad thing...in moderation.

Funky Family Takes

WTF? Wednesday

I know im early...but I could not help but post my 'WTF? Weds." moments of this past week...feel free to add your very own "WTF? Wednesday" moments too!

--WTF? I understand #FF means friend friday, but can we use it on a tuesday too?

-- WTF? Live feed abortion twitter updates??!! hmmmm...

--WTF? Baby slings known to cause suffocation. Again WTF? Can we not all agree that you don't just toss the baby in there and forget about them??

-- WTF? "Obama using 'bounty hunters' to root out fraud" I wonder if Barak will call Dog?

--WTF? Breastmilk Cheese? Yummy! Ummm...do I have to elaborate on this one?

--WTF? A newlywed couple spent their first night together in jail after the two attempted to run over the grooms former flame.

Nice!

--WTF? A Quebec man will spend the next 60 days behind bars for stealing beer from a convenience store to celebrate him just getting out of jail. Really?

Enjoy the rest of your Wednesday!

--Free2bMommy