The 411

This is my random life. The good, the bad, and the ugly. There is no real purpose other then to share. So glad to have you on board for the ride, got your seat belt on??!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Mean B_tch Monday - Relatives that just dont get it

If you are saying or thinking "WTF is Mean B_tch Monday?" I wont hold it against you...for too long. Educate yourself HERE!

This week I am keeping it short, not so sweet, and to the point. Why do relatives just not get it?

I mean, really. You are sooooooo annoying!! Stop kissing their asses and act like a normal human being already. Sometimes I want things to be the way that they were, only I don't even know you anymore and I sometimes feel like a stranger around you. We were having such a great time catching up and laughing and then they walk in and you disappear to go sit with them like this little clique of fifty year olds. How is that fair? You are so incredibly spineless. I use to admire you and want to be like you...what a joke.

In the is you, that I feel sorry for.

For the MBM Archives CLICK HERE!

Until next time friends!

Mean B_tch Monday...not just yet.

Sometimes even I find that I have nothing to write for Mean B_tch Monday. Yes, its true. I have spent the entire weekend getting ready for our first official day of homeschool and thought that it would be more appropriate to post about that, rather then be a b_tch. Although...I will have a little bit of that later.

The hubby and I spent all day yesterday, transforming the kids old bedroom into a family office/homeschool room. We sat down with both of them and told them that it was about time they figured out how they were going to support themselves and make plans to find a place of their own. hahaha! No not really, we just shifted them to another room! The room is an average size room, once we were able to get all the crap out of it. This project actually started weeks ago, when we started with phase one, which included throwing out tons of trash and toys that were literally swallowing my kids whole. I swear a little troll was living in there with them.

My hubby being the bad ass handy man that he is, added about 4 electric plugs and ran all sorts of cables and wires so that each desk was well equiped to maintain their computer setup. We are finally printing wireless!! I feel so special and hightech. I still scratch my head at how that is even possible.

Anyway, I already previewed the materials for her first lessons (1 of which I teach-wkbook style) and the others that are all online. Wish me luck friends!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Drunken stories worth telling

When I turned 18, yeeeeeeears ago! I went to this club that I am too embarrassed to admit to now, with a couple of friends of mine. One was a BFF (of the moment) and the other was this guy that to this day I have no freaking idea why I hung out with. Anyway, we get to drinking (Illegally) and partying and pretending to be grown and before you know it....everything was a freaking blur! We all start dancing with random guys with our beer goggles on, and when it was time to go, my BFF and I start to look for our guy friend who accompanied us. Somehow we had lost him...maybe purposely? I honestly don't remember. My friend and I are all wasted and singing and acting goofy, thinking that we will find him at any minute, as the house lights turn on.

Hmmmm...where is that little ass? So since the crowd was pushing outward we headed out too. It occurred to me that he had been holding my car keys...HELLO party dresses don't have pockets!! So, we decided to go and wait by the car for him to show up. problem...the car was not where I parked it...panic begins to set in. WTF?!! My dad is going to freaking kill me!!!!! What do I do? What do I do? What do I do???!! Think straight Dee...concentrate!! Get it together!!! This is serious!!!

My friend and I are standing there in the middle of this parking lot with drunk creepo guys grabbing at us, honking , and saying all sorts of crap to us. I want my mommy!!!!

We waited there for what felt like an eternity...we asked to borrow someones cell (when cells where not something you just carried around) and I tried to call freaking answer!! That son of a b_tch!!! The lot started emptying out, and as I was about to give up, when I see my car coming around the corner. He opens the door and of course in true Dee fashion, I start b_tching him out. He said something about getting his tooth knocked out by some guy who was dancing with us...bla...bla...bla...

Me: "Oh you want to leave me b_tch? You want to leave me alone and take off in my own car? How about we do about you find your way home? F_ck you!" <---middle finger up!

I left him where he stood...far far far away from his home on the ghetto side of town. Was not the first time and would not be the last...I have left people on the side of the road for far less offenses. Sorry. No actually Im not, I still laugh about it every time I tell that story. Gets better every time!! hahaha!!! Sucka!!!!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Why I suck at being a mom sometimes!

So, Im sitting on the couch munching on the leftover soggy waffles from the kids, and here comes Bean with his fairly large sailboat.

Me: "Ummmm...why is it wet?"

Bean: "Urh urh urh....grunt grunt." <---while pointing.

Me: "Beeeeean what did you do?" <--I already know his guilty face...I'm getting scared.

Bean silently walks off while still pointing...I follow and step on something wet...its a water droplet. Crap. WTF did he do? I keep walking and see him heading to the bathroom. Please don't go in the bathroom, please don't go in the bathroom!! <---in my head.

He goes into the bathroom and just stands there and grunts. Why is the toilet seat wet with water?

My horrible fear confirmed...apparently Bean was sailing his boat in the toilet. Which in itself is not the safest place for him to be...literally he must have been in there for like 1 minute max, while I sat and stuffed my face watching Barney. We don't leave toilet seat down around here...I have a horrible fear of Bean drowning in the toilet...but TODAY...daddy left it open. Deep breath....let it out.

Me: "BEAN!! GROSS!! Where you playing in the toilet?! "

Bean: "grunt grunt giggle"

Me: "Nasty boy! I mean...uhhh I mean...the toilet is nasty not you Bean, but it is nasty to play in the toilet!"

After throwing up in my mouth a little, I rushed him over to the sink and washed his hands and arms with lots of soap. Luckily only the boat was really wet...his hands, not so much. This would be a first for me friends...toilet play? Urgh!!!

Please tell me you have a toilet play story...

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

What I like about you blogista Biotch!

I use b_tch and biotch with the upmost respect, if that even makes sense...

A Letter to All of my Favorite Blogistas!
This letter has a little bit of all of my favorite bloggers! Enjoy!

A good read is hard to come by these days in the blog world. I get bored, and easily smell bullshit through the keyboard, ending in me never reading that blog again! I love reading all sorts of blogs, on different types of subjects as long as they keep it true. I like to see pics of your kids playing in the rain, coloring, cooking, swimming, and doing other insanely kidriffic things! I love hearing the stories about how like mine, your hubby is not always helpful and how your marriage is not perfect or cookie cutter. It makes me feel human, knowing that we are not as dysfunctional as I originally thought. Thanks for sharing the kick butt road trips that y'all take, complete with great beach pics and videos that we all so conveniently leave ourselves out of. Yes, I do care about your drunken escapades and the friend who is a stalker that you cant name because she reads your blog. I am absolutely freaking amazed at the words you continue to come up with using some of the most vulgar cuss words in the English personal favorite "F_cktards!"

Hearing you complain about your mother in law is hilarious, and can only be topped by a post following an unexpected week long visit from said favorite MIL!! I enjoy reading about your wine, vomit, raspberries, cheerios, Taco Tuesday, sleepless nights, and LIZARDS! I think its awesome that you put too much bubble stuff in the hotel jacuzzi and then proceeded to post pics of the whole thing!! I get the biggest kick out of the fact that you "Comment therefore, you are!" You make me roll around (in my head) with laughter! Thank you fellow bloggers for sharing your shameless moments with me and thank you even more for being unapologetic for being you!

If you could see me, I would be holding up my bud light in its hot pink koozie and shouting "Here is to all of you, you all know who you are."


How hot is your city?!

Sculpture by the Sea fair in Tamarama Beach
Created by The Glue Society

It is hot!!! I am sweaty and feel gross!! TMI? Nah!

It was 103 degrees yesterday, and that was not even factoring the high humidity!! So, I see you nodding your head and agreeing. You think your city is hot? Tell me about it! How hot was it yesterday in your city??!! I guess I can let you feel special today.

Yesterday was the hottest day of the year so far, and I truly believe the devil himself was vacationing right here in Houston because DAMN it was hot!! Did I mention it was hot?

I walk inside and it takes me like an hour to cool off, and now its about to rain? WTF is that all about! STOP PLAYING WITH ME!!! I cant take it!!!
ps. Its HOT!

Had to be Mexicans!

At first I was going to say "only Mexicans would have their kids right in the middle of that, then I saw momma come up and grab their asses quick...not a moment too soon!

Is anyone else grossed out by greasy guys in bikinis?!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Mean B_tch Monday - 10 things I loathe about you

Its Monday friends! What does that mean...hmmm...if you don't know by now, I am not sure I want to be friends with you anymore...please leave! Muahahahaha!!! Just Kidding! Kind of.

10 things that you might not know I loathe...which means intense dislike or disgust, for all of you "short bus" riders. Try to keep up eh?


10.) Guys who drive around in a gigantic truck that has the "balls" hanging from the hitch. Ummm can we say gross? Do they have to be flesh colored? My thoughts on this are that these dudes seriously need the shit knocked out of them. <--no reason, just because of their DBness.

9.) People in the motor bank lane, that request withdrawal/deposit slips, pens, or attempts to conduct looooong drawn out transactions in the window. Dude! Get your lazy ass out of the car and walk into the bank freak!

8.) (For those of you with kids) The annoying little plastic and wire ties that come on just about every toy, especially the barbies. Does her hair really need to be stapled down too? <---if you don't loathe this will soon enough. The hubby always seems to be MIA when it comes time to open their toys!!

7.) When I hear comments like "he still uses a paci?" FIRST OF ALL...Yes B_tch, and what?! SECONDLY, in our house its called a "chuppy" (short for the Spanish word for pacifier "Chupon.") THIRDLY, as if I needed to explain myself or my kid to you, he is not even 2 yet loser! LASTLY, its none of your damn business cocks_cker, unless of course you are jealous and secretly want a "suck" yourself. In that case, go away hater!

6.) When people say that they want to get their 2 year old tested for ADHD. Is there something wrong with you? If you did a little research you would see that a 2 year old for the most part is incapable of fully understanding consequence or cause and effect. Stop blaming ADHD and trying to medicate your poor children before they even start school. It's sad and gives those of us who have children with severe ADHD a bad rap. If you don't want to take care of your rambunctious toddler...maybe you shouldn't have had kids.

5.) On that note...and I know some of you may be readers (Dont be mad at me), but...people who continue to have kids that they cannot afford and are supported by the government, actually us. I waited 6 years to have my second child! I was in line to check out the other day and was trying to make sure that all of my items stayed within our dinner budget, only to get behind a girl who was buying like 4 gallons of milk, tons of boxes of cereal, frozen pizzas, among other stuff, then she proceeded to hand over her Lonestar card. WTF?! I told my kids "no" to freaking fruit snacks, and she was buying the whole damn store. How is that fair? I am sick of supporting you! Who can finish that many gallons of milk at one time? I think that is f_cked up and it PISSES ME OFF!

Now just to be clear, I am all for the program when it works the way it is suppose to, but really wish that it was only a temporary offering to people with guidelines about finding a way to support themselves following their welfare period. And that's all I have to say about that <--in my best Forest Gump voice.

4.) The truckloads of people who come to our neighborhood (a Houston Halloween favorite) and almost run over the kids that do live in the neighborhood...including my own! Its all fine and dandy to have such a greatly involved neighborhood and have people who actually drive to us to trick or treat, but AT LEAST SAY THANK YOU!! Urgh! Its pretty bad when the neighborhood residents actually proposed having the day before Halloween for the residents to trick or treat just to ensure a safe time and so neighbors don't actually run out of candy, before the neighborhood kids even get there. <---crazy right? Its pretty bad.

3.) Blogs that never have an ounce of character from the person who writes them. This is totally a personal preference. I know that blogs suit all types of purposes these days, but I try not to follow blogs who never have pictures of their friends or family, or never share an experience or something interesting about themselves. Sure its your choice...I just wont read...its boring.

2.) People who don't want to be at work and so they treat you like crap just because they have to interact with you. These range from the postman to the girl who seats you at your favorite restaurant. In my family I am known for saying "It's not my freaking fault that you work at ______ as a shitty _______ , so get over it or find another job."

1.) SMALL TALK! Everyone that knows me well, knows that I hate small talk with a passion! There is nothing that annoys me more then rehearsed convo like "So, how have you been?" "How is work?" "We are doing fine, you know, just hanging out." "Wow, I love that place" bla bla do I ever meet anyone right? Well, I have this instant BS meter that automatically clicks and I either like you or I don't...I never pretend one way or the other. <---this should be noted.

What do you loathe, or bugs the crap out of you? Even for "super sweet" really is quite therapeutic.

Until Next Week Friends!

Friday, August 20, 2010

I am taking the freaking green marker away!!!

The T-Rex has done it again! Not sure why my voice sounds like a maaaaan biotch!

Loving it!

One Crazy Brunette Chick

I am always one of the last people to link up and my blog belongs up top near the "One Crazy Bitch" herself! hahaha!!

Check it out!

Friday ADHD moments

No makeup...messy know I heart you!

Remember before I went on vacation, I posted that you could email me any questions you might have for a future post.

Well I received 5 freaking questions! You know I rock right?!

Here they are...Although 3 were anonymous...I decided to keep them all that way.

1.) Why are you always bashing on "typical mommy blogs?" It seems fake and forced.

I don't "bash" on mommy blogs, I just don't want MY blog to be perceived as only that. My blog is about my life, and although being a mom is large part of my life, it is not my entire life. Oh and I am really really me.

2.) I like your writing style, it makes me actually want to read it. How do you write this way?

I write just like I talk. Do I know how to write properly? Yes, I do. But this blog is not that serious. I write as though I am talking to one of my friends over a glass of over priced wine, that we are too wasted to worry about. I write as though I am pigging out on carbs with my best friend. I write as though I am yelling at the neighborhood homeless guy to "get a job." Kidding about the last one...maybe. I share...Its what I do.

3.) When will you redo your blog? I'm sick of it already! haha!!

"haha!" WHATEVER! You love it! I will redo my blog when you give me the money to do it. Now go away.

4.) Is there ever anything that you would not want certain people to see on your blog?

Of course there is! I loathe the thought of a frienemy checking out my page just to see if I have gained weight or if I still rock. I hate it, and I know for a fact that not everyone who reads my blog hearts me...but I heart them like a fat kid hearts cake.

5.) What is something that you have not shared with readers and you would like to?

I like throwing cupcakes at people and then running away.

----------------Now I will get on with the Friday ADHD post--------

What does the weekend hold for me? Food? Family? Jail?

Why does the small of my back always itch after a hot shower?!

I laughed almost through the whole movie, Drag Me to Hell
A pissed off talking goat?! Really?!

I was REALLY bummed to hear that Seth MacFarlane is gay. My hubby told me this ages ago when I shared with him how incredibly hot I think Seth is. I am REALLY unbummed to find out that it is sooooo not true! So, I still have a chance!!! hahahaha! Just kidding pbear! Something about a funny vulgar me, I am married to one! I should do my research next time!

Have an amazing weekend with the people you love! --Dee

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Port Aransas Texas Road Trip - without Pbear :(

I finally got around to getting my pics from the camera to my computer. Just wanted to share.

Kiddos soaking up the sun!

Bean with his "Beep beep"

Sand castle finals!!

He does not like to go anywhere without a ball!

@ Texas State Aquarium

Pretty flowers Monkey picked out for us to wear!

Striking poses

We are being swallowed by the shark! Soooo life like!


Here is the shark! Can you believe it was anatomically correct?! Ahem...

The infamous Monkey fear pose!

My babies!

Bean has some letters in the mailbox, but still soooo cute! haha!

Little Warden -its scary!

I just haaad to try the famous Avocado and Bacon burger and sweet potatoe french fries from the Port Aransas Brewery Restaurant...featured in Texas Monthly as one of the Best in the Lone Star State! Oh and did it live up to the hype?! YES SIR! The kicker is that the beef is 100% natural and is actually from cattle from the owners ranch! Random?! Yes, but cool!

Lone Star Pride! You really cant go anywhere in Texas without seeing the flag, state, or star! Love it!

"The Shandy" - Half lemonade and half Port Aransas Pop Pilsner.

My darling!

I love this picture.

Ummmm....Monkey caught this thing and we had nooooo idea what it was. Crab? Shrimp? Alien?

Homeschooling. Is it for you and your crew?

Homeschooling Monkey has been on my mind back and forth all summer long. Why? Well in case you are new to my blog, you might not know that my daughter has a severe Panic Attack Disorder, mild OCD, and ADHD <--textbook ADHD to the highest power. One day she is going to soooo hate me for putting this all out there. Anyway, she has been struggling at school and many of you know that I was in tears about how she was dealing with school and more so, how they were dealing with her.

After a summer of researching, praying, and bitching, I decided that the right thing for my daughter would be to home school her for her 3rd grade year. Am I excited about this? Not really, but I am willing to do anything for Monkey to succeed. I knew people were going to look at me strange when I told them Monkey would not be returning to school but rather embarking on a new style of learning that involved all sorts of different teaching methods.

If you are thinking about homeschooling, and I mean seriously considering, you should be prepared to research a bunch, on state laws, and curriculum options for your child. I live in Texas so the laws regarding homeschooling are easy to understand. Be prepared to be frustrated at how much you do not know regarding homeschooling, but have confidence in knowing that there are sooooo many resources and local groups that can assist you and your child.

Since we are new homeschoolers I bought a book about everything homeschooling, ordered curriculum catalogs, and joined online resource groups. The places where I found the most information was at cafemom and mamapedia.

CLICK HERE for the Mamapedia resources. is the very first mom online community that I joined. I love cafemom and the wealth of information that you can get from ordinary moms just like you. First you would have to become a member of cafemom, then you would join THIS GROUP called Happy Homeschoolers for what seems like an endless amount of homeschooling information.

It will be your choice in the type of homeschooling you decide. I decided to do an eclectic curriculum which would involve different subjects from different sources. Monkey will be taking Language arts and History on These two subjects are all online. She will be taking the Horizons Math for 3rd grade and R.E.A.L. Science for 3rd grade, which are both workbook and experiment based.

The main thing is to keep great records of what your child does on a daily basis. The online programs do that for you. They monitor progress and attendence, but you are on your own when it comes to the workbook style subjects. I just feel that science and math are two things that you have to do hands on.

I know that this seems like a lot of information at once, and it is. Here is a list of some of my favorite homeschool related websites.

Popular Sites to help you pick curriculum <----these seem endless!

Organizations that offer great resources!

Please feel free to comment with resources that you feel are helpful for homeschooling!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Right on the walls!

Right on the Walls is one of my favorite sites for the trend that is sweeping houses all over!

Sometimes decorating and updating our homes is daunting. I am always overwhelmed by cost when I begin to actually price what I would like to do to make my home more current. You can imagine how excited I was when I first heard about the awesome trend of wall decals! I found this company through one of my favorite blogs and figured it would be cool to review their product and also give one away!

The company is Right on the Walls and...because they said it best...they are...
A family-owned professional business specializing in design, marketing and print. We are a mac based design studio operating professional equipment & software. We use only the very best quality equipment and materials available in our industry. Because every space is unique, we personally create and manufacture every order to your exact specifications. We are happy to help custom design something just for you!

I chose the decal pictured directly below and have been waiting until we did the repainting and surfacing of our entry way to put the decal up. I am still waiting!! In the interest of time, I have decided to go ahead and do the review to the best of my ability and update you guys later when I get the decal up. Of course we are not the Smith's, but you get the picture!

I loved dealing with this company. They are so incredibly easily accessible and creative!

Every package contains the following items:Product(s) ordered Packing Slip with Order Details Complete Instructions Application ToolPractice Decal

Here is a snipit of other items from Right on the Walls!

One of the coolest things about Right on the Walls is the option online to custom design your own piece! Check it out HERE!

Guess what?! Right on the Walls have created a special discount code to use when visiting our website to receive 15% off your purchase: BR15DCT

ALSO!!! GIVEAWAY! has generously agreed to award one lucky reader with a $40.00 coupon code to use in their store!
What are you waiting for?!! Here is how you can enter!
Mandatory Entry – Tell me which item you want to buy with the $40.00 gift code should you win. This must be your first comment. 1 entry
  • EXTRA ENTRIES: -Follow this blog publicly via google friend connect. 3 entries
  • Follow on facebook, leave your name. 3 entries
  • Follow Free2bMommy and on twitter. 3 entries
  • Tweet the following message (available if you follow us on twitter for one extra entry per day): Decorating made easy by RightOnTheWalls Vinyl Wall Art Store - #Win a $40 gift certificate at
  • Add my button (at right) to your blog. 3 entries
No compensation was received for this post. I received product samples in order to facilitate my honest review. Contest is open to US residents 18 and older and closes at Midnight Central on August 31, 2010. Winner is responsible for shipping costs. I will use to select a winner. Please leave your email address either in your comment or make sure it is listed on your profile page so that I can reach you if you win. GOOD LUCK!

Where the hell have I been?

I am experiencing one of those moments when you start to feel like never blogging again. Too much responsibility? Really? No, just laziness on my part. Not to mention the fact that lately all I have been wanting to do since I returned from vaca is sleep!! I remember my mom telling me in highschool that I was going to "sleep my life away." That doesent sound too bad right about now.

My "to do" list just keeps growing! Argh! Why go on vaca at all, only to return to a stressful mound of crap to catch up on?! I have boocoo of rings to make, tons of JBF stuff to do, and a house to clean up (the hubby was sort of lost while I was gone.)

I honestly just dont feel very inspired lately...going to bed now. Is summer really almost over already?

Made the decision to homeschool the Monkey<---more on that later!!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

For Monkey!

Her new favorite online obsession! Kind of cute! I guess its okay for them to wear sooooo much makeup since they are after all in costume!

I just had to share!

Not sure how you will take this video, but I really dont care! hahaha!!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Im back freaks!

Urgh! Whats up biotches?!

Im baaaaaaaack!!! I spent almost a week basking in the sun and getting browner <--as if thats possible without turning another ethnicity all together!

Relaxed and feeling amazing! Hubby did a really good job of pissing me off yesterday when I returned, although recovered well last night while we had family time on the couch watching Diary of a Wimpy Kid. <---only to rebound today when he bitched me out for "always crying to my mom." What he is really mad about is the fact that someone somehow jacked his credit card number and made a purchase at BestBuy!!! He has the card!!!! Not sure how that is possible!! Whatever, I didnt steal the digits (although I should have) so dont take it out on me freak!

Now, I will close my eyes really tight and pretend I am back on the least until hubby gets over his PMS.

Oh yeah--Lots of great pics and some videos coming your way from the vaca! Luv ya!


Monday, August 9, 2010

Q&A not to be confused with T&A

Image from Google Pics

Since I am going out of town tomorrow....robbers and vandals, do not bother to try to rob me, my husband will be home all week and I don't have shit, so you will be sadly disappointed...I am asking readers to submit questions to me at about well...anything! I mean that! If you want to know why I'm such a bitch? Ask away. If you want to know how I keep my husband from grabbing me and choking me? Ask away. If you want to know why I think I am soooooo freaking funny? Ask away. No question is off limits, unless is implicates someone else by name...which at that point, I will just change the name and post anyway. <---sneaky sneaky biotches! Anonymous posts will be answered too! <--oh yes, im a badass and such a rebel! haha!

So, please, help me make this interesting and submit your questions. I will be doing the "Q&A Not to be Confused with T&A" post this Friday, so you can submit questions up until Thurs. late night!

Pic from Google Pics
Love you all, and please do not be too sad while I am gone. Just say no and don't do anything I wouldn't. That doesn't leave much.


Sunday, August 8, 2010

Mean Btch Monday --- too freaking sore and tired

Due to a bachelorette party weekend at the lake, I am too freaking tired and sore to even think about what to post for Mean B_tch Monday! Sorry y'all!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Random Friday ADHD Moment

Pic from - Google Pics

I use to be all out of blog juice by Friday and was like "duuuuuh" when it came time for me to post. Then one day, I let my little brain go crazy on a Friday and word vomit covered the page. I loved it! So, here are the ADHD moments of the week...

Saw the dentist today, who is as old as me I might add, and had some work done on the teeth that I grinded the fillings out of...yeah you heard that right...grinded! Luckily, I was able to bypass the root canal...not because I'm a pansy, but because I didn't want to have to pay for that sucker<----such a broke ass! hahaha!

I really really really am seriously considering homeschooling Monkey for next year. I just don't want her in public school and I cannot pay for any of the decent schools around here. <---I mean I could if I took up stripping and standing on the corner every Friday night...KIDDING! Don't go getting all wide eyed!

I do not fear that I cannot handle it, I am degreed...that should count for something right?! Maybe. Is it bad that I am just not sure if I want my kid home with me all day for at least 180 days of school?!! If you said "yes" you don't know my kid. Love able and sweet, but ADHD to the 10th power! <---she sometimes scares her therapist. hahaha!! Just kidding about the last part!

I will be out at my cousins lake house for the weekend. Go on, ask why. I know you are dying to know! Well since you forced it out of me, I am going to a bachelorette weekend party! I will be trashed and passed out by 10pm on Sat. I am sure. <----so classy and a light weight! When did that happen?

I keep hearing weird knocking noises behind me. There are windows behind me with plantation shutters and wide open on top, so it is possible that a 12 foot man (my home is above the ground) is outside my window waiting to sneak in and caress my face!

I will stop boring the shit out of you now and stop writing this post. If you don't hear from me by Monday, you better call my hubby and tell him to start looking for the 12 foot man! Stop laughing! You are going to feel soooooo terrible if it comes true! Biotches! haha!!

Peace <---in a gangsta kinda way! You know I'm gangsta!