The 411

This is my random life. The good, the bad, and the ugly. There is no real purpose other then to share. So glad to have you on board for the ride, got your seat belt on??!

Friday, April 23, 2010

What happened to my little girl?

It feels unbelievably strange to not post once or even twice a day, but I have been hit with a wave of panic attacks from Monkey and she seems to be digressing. This issue with my family is most important, so you will have to excuse my absence from the blog world. Sorry in advance for the terrible spelling, usage, and grammer.

Back to Monkey (my 8 year old daughter- if you are tuning in for the first time)

We have fought her anxiety and panic for 2 years now, and have tried just about everything. As some of you know, I did not want to medicate my 8 year old. I believe that medication should be reserved for situations where the disorder is prohibiting the child from daily necessary tasks or if the child becomes a danger to themselves of towards others.

Monkey is not able to attend school and misses often. Her fear keeps her from going to the movies, restaurants, church, and grocery stores. The list keeps getting longer and more isolating. She is in fear at all times about every possible thing that can happen at any given time. She has more fears and worries then many adults. She is afraid in her own house, to be out of our site. and must constantly be yelling "mommy?" to make sure I am near.

Many of my friends and family would find this hard to believe considering the child that she once was. This is a child who on the first day of pre-k walked off and jumped right in to play, only to realize we were leaving when we said "we are leaving now..." she waved and went on playing. This is the same child that has been said to "never meet a stranger," and wants to know the waiters name, so that she can call them by name. At the zoo, when the staff ask "anyone have any questions?" Monkey ALWAYS has a question and then will go on and on with more questions. She is usually the first to volunteer or raise her hand when she hears "anyone want to help?"

What I tell myself. What happened to my child? Nothing. There is nothing "wrong" with her, but she will have to work through this before she can get back to who she really is.

It is with the advise of both her psychologist and psychiatrist that we will begin medication today for her panic attacks and anxiety disorder in order to get her "calm" enough to even begin coping and self controlling techniques. Our goal is for this to be short term. We have no real choice since she is so irrational, un-trusting, and uncontrollable when she has these "episodes" of panic.

Time will only tell and we have at least 2 weeks before we see "progress" Im keeping my fingers...and toes crossed.


  1. hang in there mommy. things DO get better. i was just like you when it came to Vince. I never wanted to medicate him, but when he became a danger to himself and others, i had to. it was a hard decision, but when he was in daycare and ran out of the door into the middle of a busy street and started biting and hitting other children, i knew something had to change. i hated the meds too. they made him like a zombie. he wasn't my child. of course, he wasn't my child without meds either. i would take him off of them every 6 months or so to see if he had outgrown it. not until he was almost 12! (he began when he was 4) it was the toughest decision of my life, but i do not regret it. now at 18, he is very well adjusted and the complete opposite of what he used to be. he just lazy now instead of hyper! lol he does still have problems with the attention deficit but i also have that problem. we really have to make an effort to pay attention and not let our minds wander off to lala land. i wish you all the luck in the world honey and i will send many prayers your way because i know exactly how it feels to feel helpless when it comes to your child. besos y abrazos!

  2. Thanks girlie! I just want to see her in control of herself again, and it breaks my heart to not even "recognize" her. She is a sweet and outgoing child, but the anxiety and panic, transform her. Thanks for sharing, I really appreciate it. Lub ya!

  3. Oh, I feel for you and her. You sound like you are doing everything right for her - you're a great Mama, hang in there!


  4. I'm so sorry! I have a friend whose daughter just recently starting showing signs of this and she is only 4. I'm interested in learning more, as I'm studying to be a natural doctor(master herbalist) I also do like to do meds with my kids and try to research for alternatives. I'll be praying for you and success with your daughter.

  5. I am so sorry. Do not feel bad about trying the meds. They do not have to be forever. You just need to help her get to a place where she can work on her issues. It's a two-pronged approach. I'm sending you positive thoughts. I'm so sorry she is going through this.

  6. Oh my goodness! Poor sweetie...I'm so sorry. One of my twins (they will be 13 in July) has severe ADHD and I have never had him medicated. However, there are times when I think maybe we should. I hope that the doctors can give you some answers to get your sweet little girl back to the way she was! :) Sending you many prayers!

  7. hey there, Thanks for stopping by my blog, I'm following you back. sorry to hear about the struggles you and your daughter are having. as a mom it just breaks your heart to see your child suffering. I hope you find some relief with the meds.

  8. So glad you found me! I am going to love following your blog now, too.

    As for your little girl, I'm SO sorry about your struggles. Here's hoping y'all are able to find something that will help you!!!

  9. Wow, it hurts my heart that you have to watch her change. If the medication makes her feel comfortable then hoorah, it is a leap of faith trust your mom intuition!

  10. Hi Dee....I posted above but wanted you to know that your post really moved me! I think you have an awesome blog, and I have passed an award on to you....come check it out! :)

    Awards...Love It

  11. Thank you all for your amazing comments! I appreciate them more then you will know! Thanks for taking the time out to read my post about my little girl and my concern for what is going on with her.

    Sorry it took me so long to respond, my comments were messed up for a while.

    So glad to have found all of ur amazingly inspiring blogs!!



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