The 411

This is my random life. The good, the bad, and the ugly. There is no real purpose other then to share. So glad to have you on board for the ride, got your seat belt on??!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Hi its me...

I found myself crying the other night while in bed. I still miss you terribly and sometimes feel abandoned. I know that I don't visit your grave often. The truth is, I believe that you are not really there. I don't feel a connection with going to the cemetery to "talk to you." Do I think you listen? Of course,but I also think that you would listen should I be in the car or in the shower. I hope you are not mad at me for that. I know you use to visit _ _ Y every weekend, so I am sure it was important to you.

I always wonder what my life would have been like had you been alive still today. I hate that you are gone. It still breaks my heart. I hate that my children will never know what an amazingly beautiful, loving, and giving, person you were. They will never hear you call out to us "hello darlings!" or "girls, I brought you a surprise!" It does not seem fair.

The other day we were talking about how much I loved to be with you all the time, and how sister would just stand behind mom and stick her tongue out at you. She is still a brat by the way. I started to fear that I might begin forgetting these stories as I get older, and thought it might be a good idea to start a video diary of stories that I remember as of today. Maybe then, even when I am too old to remember, they will be forever preserved. I will let you know how that turns out.

Until then, bye-bye, I love you, and goodnight.



  1. Awe, dee. I just totally cried right now reading that. Im so sorry for your loss. Love you lots.


  2. I have tears falling down my face as I type this. I miss her very much too and I am like you, I believe I can talk to her anywhere...and I do. Love you!

  3. Thank you all. Losing anyone is hard, but especially when you had an extra special bond with that person.



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