Because its freaking hilarious to laugh about these things in hindsight. I have decided to share some of my favorite drunken stories starting this this one with my blog readers...I think I have blog readers...
Note: in order for me not to be completely ostracized by those in the story, SOME of the names have been changed.
It started out very much like it usually does, casual beers at a pub favorite, then turned into something much more sinister.
I was drinking a beer and then another, saying to myself, "self, you will just drink a little bit and then head home, you can handle that right?" It is freaking weird how one drink leads to another and before you know it, you are slammed beyond belief and saying the worst stupidities that you can imagine and have held privately in your "secret brain chest" for ever until now! I'm dancing and instead of talking, everything that comes out is a shout! The group of us begins to toast to just about everything you can imagine "friendship" "each other" "good times" drink specials" "how much we love each other," and so forth and so forth. Oh you know what I'm talking about!
Everything is always sooooo much fun at this point and I truly convince myself that it really does not matter if I get wasted and totally embarrass myself! I see a "friend" that I usually do not talk to and we become "best buds." We start talking about all the reasons that we do not like each other and how stupid it is! We say things like "I thought you hated me because..." and "no! I thought you hated me because..." We quickly decide that we will put it all behind us and hang out from now on. EmbarrASSing!!!
After the interesting few hours at the bar and hanging out with my new "best friend," we decide that perhaps its time to get home. No night would be complete without a near starving trip for a 3am meal from Jack in the Box or Whataburger (a Texas burger chain.) I of course forget my diet and make the worst menu choices as possible, then I proceed to eat as though I had not eaten in days!!
A few small arguments transpire between myself and my loving sister on the way home, with some threats of "let me out! I'm walking home b_tch!" We finally end up at my house and decide that it would be freaking hilarious and fun to dance on top of my sisters Ford Bronco (yes you heard that right and yes I know they do not even make those anymore!) CLUB BRONCO B_TCHES!!
We climb with "hulk like" strenght I might add, to the roof (not the hood) of the Bronco and blast the radio up LOUD! Whoot whoot! We dance without our shoes on the dewy slippery roof....oh I think you know where this is going!
We start to get off to go inside and sure enough, my sister falls! Not just a normal fall, but a "Homer Simpson" style fall. She first slips and hits her butt, and then falls forward and hits her face on the other vehicle behind the Bronco, and lastly flops forward and hits her chest on the tire on the back of the Bronco.
IT WAS FREAKING HILARIOUS!!! One of those seriously priceless moments. I almost pee'ed on myself, I was laughing soooooo hard!
I know that I will hear it from mom later about sharing this story that I should be "embarrassed and ashamed" of, but this is MY blog and I will blog if I want to!