The 411

This is my random life. The good, the bad, and the ugly. There is no real purpose other then to share. So glad to have you on board for the ride, got your seat belt on??!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The disfuctional Momma sista drama

In order to understand the dynamics within the relationships that I hold with both my mother and only sister, its important to understand the history of those relationships. We have a very unusual communication style that translates to others often times as yelling, rude, or just good ol' bi-polar.

We have a constant issue with the whole "you love her more," and "why does ____ get to do it?" I know, its childish and stupid, but my sister and I are always fighting. So, what do two twenty something year old sisters fight about? Everything! I say that our relationship is bi-polar because anyone who knows us knows, that one minute we will be fighting, and literally the next we are laughing and talking. P-S-Y-C-H-O! I know!

Maybe you and your family are like this too or at least that's what I tell myself.

I will be jumping around here so bare with me...

The part that my mom plays in this whole thing is more of a crutch and fuel feeder then helper although she does not mean to be.

Since I was not able to write my mothers day post that I had planned, I'm going to do it now...

My mother is an amazingly misunderstood person. I have never met anyone who loves so much and gives so much, but whose actions are overshadowed by the sheer problem of people to understand her. To many people she comes across as abrupt, confrontational, opinionated, and rude. Those of us that know her, know that these things are just misinterpretations of her communication style. She is brutally honest, but not to the point so as to disrespect or insult. The fact that MANY people are not able to appreciate the truth does not help her case either. I guess anything can be perceived as rude if you are not willing to hear the truth. I think that the people that tell you the truth are those that you should keep closer and not push further away, because they are not willing to say what you want to hear. Be honest with yourself next time, and ask yourself "do I really want to hear the truth?"

One of my favorite movies is my favorite because the lead character played by Shirley Maclaine reminds me of my mother so much.

My mother will give you everything that you need. Now that does not mean that she will let you forget that she did that favor, but that's just mom. My mom loves us so much that it is hard for her to know her boundaries in regard to trying to protect us at all times. I now see how this could be difficult for mothers to do now that I have my own children. My mom and I love the movie Terms of Endearment and this is one of the scenes where I truly come to appreciate the love of a mother for her child and the emotional frustration that accompanies not being able to help and make things all better.


  1. I think your acceptance of your mom is a gift. Love the pictures of you guys.

    peryl @ parenting ad absurdum

  2. sounds like you have a great mama!

  3. Your mother sounds like she stays true to herself. That's a very good thing.

  4. Yes she does, sure she wont like this post much. :)


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