Why I suck at being a mom sometimes!

So, Im sitting on the couch munching on the leftover soggy waffles from the kids, and here comes Bean with his fairly large sailboat.

Me: "Ummmm...why is it wet?"

Bean: "Urh urh urh....grunt grunt." <---while pointing.

Me: "Beeeeean what did you do?" <--I already know his guilty face...I'm getting scared.

Bean silently walks off while still pointing...I follow and step on something wet...its a water droplet. Crap. WTF did he do? I keep walking and see him heading to the bathroom. Please don't go in the bathroom, please don't go in the bathroom!! <---in my head.

He goes into the bathroom and just stands there and grunts. Why is the toilet seat wet with water?

My horrible fear confirmed...apparently Bean was sailing his boat in the toilet. Which in itself is not the safest place for him to be...literally he must have been in there for like 1 minute max, while I sat and stuffed my face watching Barney. We don't leave toilet seat down around here...I have a horrible fear of Bean drowning in the toilet...but TODAY...daddy left it open. Deep breath....let it out.

Me: "BEAN!! GROSS!! Where you playing in the toilet?! "

Bean: "grunt grunt giggle"

Me: "Nasty boy! I mean...uhhh I mean...the toilet is nasty not you Bean, but it is nasty to play in the toilet!"

After throwing up in my mouth a little, I rushed him over to the sink and washed his hands and arms with lots of soap. Luckily only the boat was really wet...his hands, not so much. This would be a first for me friends...toilet play? Urgh!!!

Please tell me you have a toilet play story...